Michael: Hello! And welcome to another edition of Character Interviews with Michael Okon! In this Monsterland episode, we have Billy the…
Billy stares menacingly at Michael.
Michael: Um…Billy the human.
Billy: That’s incorrect.
M: I know, but if I say the name will you turn into a…
B: A werewolf?
M: Yes.
B: No, only if you say it three times fast.
M: (dumbfounded look) I thought it had to be…
B: I’m just kiddin’, you moron.
M: Let’s start this again. On this episode, we have Billy from the Everglades. Billy is a …werewolf, but not actually right now.
B: Man, you’re smart.
M: Thanks, my mom says the same thing.
Billy rolls his eyes.
M: So, Billy. Tell our audience. How did you become the star attraction at Monsterland?
B: I didn’t become anything. My friends and I were taken!
M: Taken?
B: Taken!
M: By Liam Neeson?
B: No, by that evil Doctor.
M: Doctor Vincent Konrad?
B: My friends and I were having a great day. Had a great meal. The weather in the Everglades was perfect. Then the humans like you, ruined it.
M: I wasn’t there.
B: You’re all the same. You ruin everything. We’re not monsters. Yes, we may morph into a 7-foot silver werewolf with golden eyes when the moon is full…
Michael slides his chair away, just a bit.
B: I’m not transforming now. I’m not a monster. I just want to be left alone by everyone.
M: What is the Werewolf River Run like?
B: It’s a replica of our habitat, it has this bayou setting. We live in a dome where the full moon rises every few minutes so we can transform into a werewolf in front of the patrons.
M: Sounds cool!
B: It’s not. It’s excruciatingly painful.
M: Is that the entire ride?
B: Nope, after transformation, werewolves gotta eat, and the only thing there is to eat under the dome are the tourists in a boat. A thick acrylic glass separates us from the tourists. We chase the guests down a tributary.
M: What is Monsterland like?
B: It’s a hellhole! Sure, the whole park and the attractions are built all pretty and everything, but go behind the scenes and you’ll see a shoddy made habitat they stuck us in.
M: Shoddy made?
B: This evil Doctor spent all his money on luring tourists into the park. Pretty surface, but underneath…Hmph…no good.
M: All right.
B: Not all right! It’s terrible.
M: What are you holding?
B: This, um, it’s nothing.
M: No really, what it is?
B: If I tell you, you have to promise me you can’t say anything to anyone.
M: Well, besides our thousands of readers, I promise not to say anything to anyone.
B: It’s a key card to the holding cells.
M: (spits out his water)
B: We’re planning our escape.
M: When?!
B: Right after this interview. Hey, what time is it?
M: (checks watch) It’s about 8pm.
B: Oh, man. I don’t feel good. I think it’s a full moon tonight.
Billy falls to the floor. His spine pulls and he screams.
M: Well, that about wraps up this week’s addition of Character Interviews with Michael Okon.
Billy screams as he grows werewolf hair.
M: Join us next week…ah, forget it. Let’s get the hell outta here! This thing is turning into a werewolf!!
Michael and the camera exit stage left. Billy growls.
Ha, funny interview! Nice job, Michael.